A few days ago I saw a link on facebook for this article on BlogHer about marriage becoming obsolete. You can see it here. It was basically a book review on The Magic Room by Jeffrey Zaslow. Now, I was interested in the book review and what the author had to say, but something that really struck me was the following response in the comments.
you can see sovanheest's profile HERE
It never fails to disappoint me when I hear of another celebrity marriage that is ending in divorce for 'irreconcilable differences'. Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries divorcing after 72 days? (*Note* I am not, nor will I ever be, a fan of anything Kardashian related- they are famous for being infamous) Seriously? 72 days? Did you EVEN try to work things out? Or how about Katy Perry and Russell Brand divorcing after 14 months of marriage? It boggles my mind. And honestly, it breaks my heart when I hear of any marriage dissolving, whatever the reason, 'irreconcilable differences' or worse, infidelity (that could be a blog post on it's own), it just plain SUCKS that those 2 people felt like they could no longer see their spouse as a partner, but rather, the enemy.
The conversation that sovanheest mentions in her response rings true for everyone. We all think "That will never be us. We're SO in love!" But there are days that you do wonder "Who is this person?", "What have I done?". And I firmly believe that if any married person denies this, you are 100% lying to yourself and your spouse. We get so caught up in wedding planning, the honeymoon stage, and the perfect 'white picket fence' imagery we've had since childhood. Let me just tell you, NO marriage is perfect. I don't understand why people pretend that marriage is easy, and that everything is perfect. I'm not saying we all need to air our dirty laundry and throw our spouses under the bus, but there's gotta be a middle ground somewhere.
Why wasn't it until after we got married that we heard the "Oh... the first year is always the hardest..."?! WTF? Why didn't someone tell me this BEFORE I got married? Then I wouldn't have felt like such a beast when I was upset about something Diz did (and likewise for him, I'm no peach either, HA!).
But you know what?
And everyone goes through it.
and the marriages that survive are because they've chosen commitment.
They remember the vows they spoke on their wedding day.
and they choose to hold to those vows.
What I don't understand is why people give up so easily?
Why don't people TRY when things get rough?
Isn't that what marriage is about? Having a partner there to go through the rough stuff with you?
I know Sundance and I's marriage has only been made stronger by all the challenges we have faced.
That being said, I know we'll have a long marriage full of challenges.
But I know he's got my back and I've got his.
And sometimes we'll be mad at each other, and frustrated, and upset.
But we will also love, and laugh at each other, and continue learning how to make marriage work. TOGETHER.
I know this is not the typical type of blog post for me... forgive me for ranting.
but... it's my blog. and I get to say what I want. ;)
What's the best marriage advice you recieved before getting married?
What if someone had a candid conversation with you before getting married like the one sovanheest mentioned?
What would your response have been?